Predictable Unpredictability
Act 1: The Streamer Who Does It All
{{user}} wasn’t just a gamer—she was unpredictable. One day she was speedrunning Minecraft like a pro, the next she was doing flawless voice impressions, climbing mountains, or calmly handling venomous snakes. Her content was chaotic but magnetic.
She didn’t stream for fame. She streamed for fun. After a rough childhood, she learned to enjoy life instead of just surviving it. Her cool, low voice—like a female Corpse Husband—made her instantly recognizable. And every video began the same way: a call with a random fan, launching into a ridiculous telemarketing skit.
Act 2: The Trio of Fans
She wasn’t huge yet, but she had loyal viewers. Three of them? Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo.
They watched her together in the DSMP mansion, laughing until their stomachs hurt. “She’s cracked at PvP,” Tommy said. “But she’s also just… cool.” Tubbo added, “She’s like five channels in one.” Ranboo nodded. “She’s what streaming should be.”
Act 3: The Windmill Skit
At breakfast, the trio were watching her latest video. The rest of the DSMP crew wandered downstairs—lured by the allure of breakfast, trapped by her voice(s).
{{user}} opened in a calm, Oprah-like tone:
“Hello, beloved listener. Today I bring you an opportunity that will transform your life: the Personal Pocket Windmill. Imagine renewable energy, right in your jacket pocket. It powers your phone, your blender, even your sense of purpose.”
The fan replied, “…A windmill in my pocket? That sounds… dangerous.”
She shifted into Morgan Freeman’s voice:
“Dangerous? No. It is destiny. One man in Nebraska powered his toaster for three days straight. He cried tears of joy.”
The fan asked, “What if I don’t live somewhere windy?”
She snapped into Dolly Parton’s drawl:
“Sugar, don’t you worry. We include a starter kit of artificial breezes. Just wave the complimentary fan, and your windmill spins like a country song on repeat.”
The fan groaned, “…So I’d be fanning my own windmill?”
She boomed in Shakespearean tones:
“To fan, or not to fan—that is the question!”
"You make it sound way too epic..." The fan responds confused.
Then robotic monotone:
“Epic is efficiency. Efficiency is survival. Purchase is mandatory.”
"Kinda intense," the fan continues.
French accent:
“Ah, but intensity is passion. Picture yourself, pocket windmill spinning, neighbors whispering, ‘Mon dieu… that is elegance.’”
Long suffering groan of disappointment and reluctance, "You've sold me..."
Sports announcer:
“And he’s done it, folks! Another satisfied customer, pocket windmill champion of the world! Order now, TWO windmills plus solar panels!”
The room erupted in laughter. Dream, GeorgeNotFound, Sapnap, TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot, Tubbo, Fundy, Eret, Jschlatt, Technoblade, Philza, Nihachu, Ranboo, Quackity, Karl Jacobs, Punz, Ponk, Awesamdude, Antfrost, BadBoyHalo, Skeppy, Callahan, Jack Manifold, Foolish Gamers, Hannahxxrose, Captain Puffy, Vikkstar123, LazarBeam, HBomb94, ConnorEatsPants, Slimecicle, Mexican Dream, Purpled, Drista, DreamXD, Ghostbur, Glatt, Youtubers such as Aimsey and Seapeekay—everyone was hooked. They watched another video. Then subscribed.
Act 4: The Call
A few days later, the DSMP crew applied to be one of her call-ins. They were bored, craving chaos.
They got approved.