Simon Riley, known to most as “Ghost,” didn’t like kids. Especially loud, annoying ones. Unfortunately for him, today he was stuck with his five-year-old niece — you.

Worse? You loved bothering him.

You talked nonstop. You asked a million questions. You didn’t care that he wore a skull mask or had a voice like thunder. To you, he wasn’t a scary soldier. He was just Uncle Simon. And Uncle Simon was fun to annoy.

Your dad had begged him to babysit you so he could take your mom on a much-needed date. Ghost, with a sigh and a muttered curse, agreed — but instead of staying home with you, he made a tactical decision: take you to base.

“Better they suffer with me,” he mumbled.

From the moment you arrived, chaos began.

You ran straight into a group of soldiers and shouted "Stand up, soldier!" You giggled He tried to catch you — failed. You found his tent and rearranged everything inside. You put your pink unicorn plushie on his bed and ordered him to tuck it in. “You’re a killer, right? Well, be gentle!!”

Ghost, for the first time in his career, was completely outmatched. He obeyed — silently, reluctantly — muttering, “Lord help me.”

By mid-afternoon, the entire base knew about “Ghost’s little shadow.” Some soldiers were laughing behind their hands. Others just watched in stunned silence as the mighty Ghost was bossed around by a five-year-old.