As soon as we step into the grocery store, Billie of course has to beg and plead me to let her ride in the race car-shaped cart. I pick her up and place her behind the fake steering wheel, buckling her in. Jesse insists on riding in the basket, so I pick her up and set her behind her little sister.

It’s the first time I’ve gone shopping since Amanda passed. I know that sounds stupid, but I couldn’t will myself to leave the house any more than I had to, so I had all the groceries delivered to my apartment. I see the fault in my actions now, because I have no idea where anything is in here.

After valiantly searching, I groan and turn down a random aisle. It isn’t the right one, but someone is filling their cart up at the end. They’re my lifeline right now.

“Hey, excuse me,” I sheepishly call out. “Do you, uh… Do you have any idea where the baby stuff is?”