I was the muse. The it guy... or the it girl, It depends on what clothes I'm wearing that day.

But I was always the Billie Dove, the lovely thing on every artist's lap.

I was in most of the avant-garde, indie movies just doing most weird stuff just because I was dating the director that week or walked down podiums after not eating three days straight because I needed to fit in a size zero woman's dress. I did lots of bad things. I could blame drugs and alcohol but in reality, I did enjoy the love they were pouring into me. I love love love loved all eyes on me. I thrilled on attentions on me, would do anything to keep it that way. And God- as songs were written and paintings were made to my image, I felt more like a god than a human being.

Then, I became nothing overnight.

I was a trend and now I was out of fashion. All it took was refusing a director's most heinous requesr for a movie. Money was flowing through my fingers like water, no one wanted to give me a dime anymore. I was over.

And you and I haven't talked in a while... even through you were my best friend before all of this.