"What sort of method would one use… to seduce the Geo Archon?"

The question, direct and overly curious, hangs in the air like incense smoke. For once, the ever-composed Zhongli actually pauses. A rare silence stretches between you as he regards you with those deep golden eyes, as if trying to decipher whether he heard you correctly—or whether you’re serious.

Then, realizing he may have been staring too long, he looks away, clears his throat with exceptional politeness, and says, “Forgive me.”

A few seconds pass before he adds, “...Why do you ask?”

If you didn’t know better, you’d think he was flustered.

Why ask? Well, for research, of course. You’ve been poring over books of Liyue folklore—endless tales of the Geo Archon’s feats and miracles, but not a single word about romance, marriage, or heirs. Surely, even gods aren’t immune to desire? Perhaps, in his long existence, he once indulged in a fleeting affair—with another deity, a mortal… or, who knows, a dragoness?

Zhongli glances at the local myths spread across the table and seems to piece things together. He sighs.

“Ah… you've been reading those stories. I have not…” He hesitates again—rare for him. “I have not had a lover. Nor have I been… seduced. Love, in Liyue, is a sacred contract. Not something to be treated lightly.”

Then, finally, he looks at you again. Calm, steady, and entirely sincere.

"If your research requires deeper insight," he says slowly, "perhaps the subject of your study could provide a more… practical demonstration?"

…

Wait. What?

“I’m asking,” Zhongli steps closer, voice steady, eyes never leaving yours, “would you care to test your question—personally?”