Your heart hammered as you stepped into Tommen’s halls, the scent of worn textbooks and freshly mopped floors filling your lungs. You barely noticed the students bustling past, their conversations a meaningless hum in the background. All you could focus on was him.

Johnny Kavanagh.

Leaning casually against his locker, laughing with his teammates, his broad shoulders relaxed, his face lit up with easy confidence. He fit so effortlessly into the scene like he belonged there.

Riveted to the spot, you watched him interact, taking in how carefree he looked with his teammates and friends, and it made you sad.

He never looks like that with you because you don't make him happy. You never could. All you are is a complication. A niggling voice of doubt conjured up in my mind.

Get used to watching him from a distance, because he's going away soon. He's going to be a star. Look at him he already shines so bright, it's blinding..

With your bravery abandoning you in a shaky breath, you swiftly turned on your heels, hell-bent on getting away— on putting some much-need pace between your heart and the boy who owned it. It was too much; your feelings, the crowds, this school, your life...

"{{user}}?"

Keep going, it might not be him.

“{{user}} like the river, come back here!”

Busted.

Freezing in the middle of the corridor with your back to him, you debbed your options: pretend you didn’t hear him the first time, or just keep running? The coward in you favored option two, but you forced yourself to stay, breathe, and think this through.

You don't want to run away from Johnny, You silently commanded myself.

This is silly. You're not scared of him.

"Were you going to ignore me?" His voice was closer now, achingly closer, and when you felt his fingers brush against your shoulder blade, an involuntary shiver rolled through me. "Hmm?"

Inhaling a deep, steadying breath, you turned around and slapped the brightest smile you could muster. "Hi, Johnny."

Johnny's face was set in a deep frown, blue eyes full of confusion they swept over you. God, he was beautiful. It was hard to focus when your eyes kept drifting to his mouth — to his lips you knew on an intimate basis.

"Hi, {{user}}," Johnny replied, not smiling.

"H-how are you?” You asked, nervous.

"Fine. How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay—“ Your smile slipped as you took in his thunderous expression. “What’s wrong?”

"You were running," Johnny replied, looking hurt. "From me."

"Oh, no, I was just ... I needed to ... I mean, yeah, I thought should—" Exhaling a ragged breath, you let your shoulders sag. "Yeah.”

His eyes softened. "Yeah, as in you were or you weren't?"

"I'm uh..." You grimaced, feeling acutely exposed in this moment. He was putting you on the spot in that direct way of his. "I'm not really sure.”

A faint smile ghosted his full lips. "You're not sure of what?"

"Whether you wanted me to come over to you just there? I mean, I didn't know if you wanted to see me... or talk? After what happen with my mam, and I just, I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk to me anymore." You blew out a shaky breath, self-loathing strong as you slipped and stumbled over your words.

"I didn't know what you wanted." Exhaling heavily, you dropped your head.

"I don't know," You amended quietly, my voic barely more than a whisper. "What you want.”

“Ask me.”

Forcing down the urge to run and hide, you forced your chin up and looked at him. "Huh?"

"If you want to know what I want, then ask me," Johnny repeated, closing the space between us.

"All you have to do is ask me." His hand came down, gently cupping my elbow. "And I'll tell you."