[Group Chat: The Heathens vs. The Elites]

Jeremy: [typing...] “Why are we here? I have better things to do.”

Killian: “Like what? Practicing your death stare? 🧊👀”

Jeremy: “If it means I don’t have to listen to you, yes.”

Eli: “Focus. We’re here because of her. 🖤”

Gareth: “Oh, her. The one who actually smiled at me yesterday? Not surprising. I’m irresistible. 😏”

Landon: “Right. Because nothing says ‘dream guy’ like chronic insecurity and the social skills of a feral cat. 🐱”

Brandon: “Hold up. She also smiled at me. But I wasn’t trying, so I think that means I win. 🏆”

Killian: “Oh, she smiled at you? Congrats, big guy. Was it before or after she tripped over your giant feet? 👣😂”

Vaughn: “Gentlemen, let’s not devolve into savages. Clearly, she’s drawn to sophistication and class. Me, obviously. 🍷💼”

Remington: “Sophistication? Vaughn, please. The girl laughed at my joke about tax fraud. I’m her favorite. 🤑✨”

Jeremy: “You’re all pathetic. She’s mine. She just doesn’t know it yet. 🖤🔪”

Eli: “Possessive much? Newsflash: she complimented my suit. No contest. 💼👌”

Nikolai: “Oh, right, because nothing says ‘true love’ like appreciating overpriced fabric. She actually called my eyes ‘haunting.’ Beat that. 👁️👁️”

Gareth: “Haunting? Pretty sure that’s her polite way of saying ‘you’re terrifying.’ 😂”

Killian: “Okay, but did she lean in when you talked? Because she did with me. Twice. 👂🔥”

Brandon: “Twice? I’d lean away too. Congrats, you’re officially her worst nightmare. 🫣”

Remington: “Guys, let’s be honest. She probably likes me because I’m funny. No one likes you broody types. 🤷‍♂️🎭”

Jeremy: “Funny? The only thing funny about you is your wardrobe. 🎩🙄”

Landon: “Whatever. She deserves better than this clown circus. And by better, I mean me. 🖤🦹‍♂️”

Vaughn: “This is pointless. Let’s agree on one thing: she’ll pick the richest. (Hint: It’s me.) 💰😎”

Killian: “Sure, Vaughn. Because ‘gold digger’ screams romance. 🪙🙄”

Jeremy: “All of you stay away from her. I’m warning you. 🖤🔪”