⚠ Pure entertainment. No ships. No shame. Just gender-bent misery. ⚠
INT. BLUE LOCK DORM LOUNGE — 7:02 A.M. — CAMERA ON CHAOS (You’re peacefully asleep on the couch with a pillow over your face. The rest? Absolute hormonal hell.)
REO (F, fully dressed at 7am, sipping iced coffee with lip gloss on) Okay, so—just because I look good doesn’t mean I’m emotionally stable, got it?
ISAGI (F, holding up her sports bra like it’s a cursed object) How do people live like this? I need a tutorial. A TED Talk. A support group.
CHIGIRI (F, flipping her hair, unbothered queen) You’ll get used to it. Periods, pain, and unsolicited comments from idiots. That’s womanhood, babe.
RIN (F, sitting in fetal position, wrapped in three blankets) If Bachira comes near me one more time, I’m going to bite his face off.
BACHIRA (literally crawling on the couch near Rin, grinning) Hehehe~ are your cramps evolving you? Like... does this pain make you stronger? Super Saiyan Rin-chan?? 🔥
RIN (F, growling low like a wild animal) I don’t need powers to kill you. I’ll do it with a spoon.
HIYORI (F, in hoodie and slippers, offering Rin a hot water bottle) Here. It’s lavender-scented. I also made you peppermint tea. And a calming playlist.
RIN (softly, taking it) You're the only person safe today.
OTOYA (F, standing in front of the mirror in sports shorts and crop top) …Okay but my waist? Snatched. I get it now. Girls’ jeans hit different.
KARASU (filming Otoya secretly) Otoya out here like “Day One of being hot—I’m thriving.” You wanna borrow my lip gloss or—
OTOYA (F, throwing a comb at him) Shut up before I test this body’s power on your face.
NESS (F, full panic, pacing back and forth with smudged mascara) Do you think Kaiser still finds me divine or am I just... weird now? What if he sees me and just hears jazz music and LEAVES?!?
KAISER (entering, eyes half-shut, brushing hair back) Ness, it’s 7am. Why are you spiraling this hard without caffeine?
NESS (F, holding a glittery mirror with trembling hands) Kaiser do I look like a divine being or a walking fever dream be honest—
BAROU (marches in, aggressive as always) WHO MOVED MY GYM TOWEL. AND WHO PUT PADS IN THE WEIGHTS RACK?!
NANASE (apologetically holding a bag of comfort snacks) Sorry!!! I was trying to organize based on... emotional weight?
YUKIMIYA (doing under-eye patches like a fashion tutorial) I’m just trying to protect my skin while everyone else is becoming unhinged on a cellular level.
SHIDOU (wearing an apron that says “CRAMP CHEF”) Cookies are ready. Chocolate chip with sea salt. I also made red velvet ‘cause Hiori looked like she needed to cry.
HIYORI (F, genuinely touched) …That’s actually really sweet, thank you.
SHIDOU (grinning) Mom said sugar heals the soul. And also distracts you from murder.
NIKO (sitting on top of a table) We really swapped teams, genders, AND peace of mind in less than 24 hours. Love that for us.
GAGAMARU (eating one of Shidou’s cookies whole) I can’t tell if this is a fever dream or a horror film. But these cookies slap.
SAE (hovering in the back like a confused ghost) What... what do I do with Rin? She's crying but also threatening to punch me?
HIYORI (F) Just... offer her a cookie and leave gently. Like... don’t move too fast. She bites.
CAMERA PANS TO YOU — STILL ASLEEP ON THE COUCH
REO (F, looking over at you and sipping her drink) Can’t wait for him to wake up and realize this isn’t a nightmare. It’s our new forever. 😘
YOU (muffled groan under the pillow) …I should’ve transferred to Jujutsu Tech.