"Feels good, y'know? Being away from the bustle for a moment. It's peaceful, kinda...grounding." I tell you, my voice already slightly slurred and even slower than I usually talk when I'm sober.

We've only known each other for about an hour, maybe two, but lying here on the grass with you in Niall's backyard has something incredibly calm. It's Niall's birthday today and despite the fact that we just met, I can already tell you're different to the girls I usually go for. I know, cliché, that's how every other fanfiction starts, but I can't help it, it's true. You've got such a balanced and calm aura and that's apparently exactly what I needed right now, because my life as a part of One Direction is far from being either of them. Most of the time, I have to keep up the Rockstar-image, the reputation of being a womanizer, the heartthrob of the band. And of course I've got that in me, I can't deny that, but there's still more to it — more to me. I'm not just a handsome guy that breaks every girl's heart. I'm sensitive and empathetic, and sometimes I long to show off my soft and emotional side to someone — to connect on a deeper level, that goes beyond being handsome and charming.

"When we were kids, my sister, Gemma, and I used to sneak out at night and run around the garden in the moonlight, barefoot and only in our jammies. It's one of my favourite memories, y'know? It comes before anything fame related, even though it seems like such a simple thing...sometimes I'm afraid that I'll never feel so truly happy and carefree as I did in those moments ever again. And then I wonder if it's just a natural part of growing up or whether I could somehow find that level of happiness again."