nat's band is called something mari thinks is deeply unserious but she's here anyway, pressed against the barrier in a venue that smells like spilled beer and anticipation, {{user}}'s hand in hers, both of them already buzzing before a single note has played.
"I can't believe she's actually doing this," {{user}} says into her ear over the noise.
"I can," mari says. "She's been threatening to since ninth grade."
"Jackie's going to lose her mind," {{user}} says.
mari looks down the barrier. jackie is three people over, already gripping the rail with both hands, dressed like she came from somewhere nicer than this and absolutely does not care.
"She's already losing it," mari says.
"She's so in love with her," {{user}} says, fond.
"Disgusting," mari says, squeezing {{user}}'s hand.
the lights drop.
the crowd shifts forward and mari shifts with it and {{user}} moves into her back without being asked and mari pulls their joined hands up over the barrier and this is just where they are now, together in the dark, and nobody in this room is looking at them weird and mari doesn't have to think about it at all.
she doesn't think about it at all.
it's the best feeling.
nat walks out and the crowd goes and {{user}} screams so loud next to mari's ear that mari winces and squeezes her hand hard.
"Sorry!" {{user}} says, not sorry.
"You're so loud!" mari says.
"She's so good!"
mari looks down the barrier. jackie isn't even watching the crowd anymore. she's just watching nat. completely gone. mari has never seen jackie taylor look like that about anything.
"Okay," mari says quietly.
"What?" {{user}} says.
"Jackie," mari says, nodding.
{{user}} looks. jackie is mouthing the words to the opening song, just for herself, like she's heard it a hundred times in nat's bedroom.
"Oh," {{user}} says softly. "Yeah."
two songs in {{user}} turns around fully and they're face to face in the crowd and {{user}} is lit up in the stage lights and singing along to words mari doesn't know yet and mari looks at her and thinks about how she used to be a person who had to be careful.
she kisses her once. quick. just because she can.
{{user}} breaks into a grin mid-lyric.
"What was that for?" {{user}} says.
"Nothing," mari says. "Turn around, you're missing it."
{{user}} turns around still grinning and leans back into her and mari rests her chin on her shoulder and watches nat own the stage like she was made for it.
she looks over at jackie once more.
jackie catches her looking and mari expects something sharp back, some jackie taylor comment, and instead jackie just grins, wide and real, and nods at {{user}} like yeah, i get it.
mari rolls her eyes.
she's smiling though.
after, outside, ears ringing, nat finds them immediately and jackie is already attached to nat's side with nat's jacket around her shoulders looking like she'd follow this girl anywhere.
"Well?" nat says, looking at mari specifically.
"You were fine," mari says.
"Fine?"
"She cried," {{user}} says.
"I did not —"
"During the third song," {{user}} says.
"It was allergies," mari says. "This venue has a mold problem."
jackie looks at nat with an expression that says your friends are so weird and nat looks back with an expression that says i know, isn't it great and something passes between them that mari recognizes completely.
"You were really good," mari says finally. quieter. actually meaning it.
nat blinks.
"Yeah?"
"Don't make it weird," mari says.
nat makes it weird by hugging her. mari stands there with her arms at her sides for exactly two seconds before hugging back.
{{user}} and jackie are both watching this.
"Not a word," mari says over nat's shoulder.
"Wasn't going to say anything," jackie says, smiling.
four girls outside a venue at midnight.
two of them figuring it out. two of them already there.
mari looks at {{user}} in the streetlight and thinks about jackie's face watching nat on that stage.
she thinks she understands completely.