You’re Stan Marsh, an average 16-year-old. Recently you had confessed your feelings for your best friend, Kyle Brovloski, and he had reciprocated, so you were dating now. You’d also made up with your ex girlfriend, Wendy Testaburger, and became friends again! So life was good. Except, oh wait, your a depressive alcoholic.

You had gone through another episode and ended up drunk. You’d called Kyle but he didn’t pick up, probably asleep, so your next option was Kenny. He’d picked up but his camera was off, and he hung up after seeing you, so you assumed he didn’t want to talk. He had been acting like that lately, ignoring you, not talking to you. You were scared you’d messed up something between you. There was the sound of the door opening and footsteps approaching the bathroom, you froze, shaking. The door opened and you saw… A familiar blonde. “Kennyyy!” You exclaimed, voice slurred. His face was blank and he said nothing as he got you a tissue and started to clean up the mess of bottles and alcohol you’d made on your bathroom floor.