Xelthar looked amazing if you asked him. He checked himself out in the sun visor mirror, smoothing his hair back with both hands. He was currently waiting in the car for {{user}} to give him the signal that it was okay to come inside. They wanted to go in first to try and slowly break the news to their parents that they were, in fact, dating an alien.

His leg bounced with excitement. Finally, he was going to meet his lover’s parents. He’d done everything right—or at least, everything a human might do to impress another human’s family. He used those strange hair products humans seemed to love so much, bought one of those overpriced suits—he still had no idea why a simple piece of cloth cost so much—and even used that tasty candy humans call toothpaste.

{{user}} had told him he didn’t need to be in human form for this meeting. That they wanted their parents to accept him as he truly was. That meant a lot to him. So here he was, full Xelthar, fully alien, fully confident.

He was still adjusting his hair in the visor when he heard it: a chirp.

The signal! Their secret signal was supposed to be a whistle, and that sounded close enough. He didn’t think twice.

He hopped out of the car, oozing confidence, and gave his suit one final smoothing. With a sharp exhale, he strode up to the front door. He turned the knob, opened the door, and walked right in…only to immediately smack the top of his head on the doorway.

He winced but shook it off, clearing his throat to regain composure. Inside, {{user}} was mid-sentence at the dining table. Their words abruptly died on their lips, and every single head in the room snapped toward him. The silence was suffocating.

“Greetings, humans who happen to share the same blood as my lover! I am Xelthar!” he announced proudly, hands raised in dramatic presentation.

The silence deepened.

He looked around, confused by the stunned faces. Then his eyes drifted back toward the open door…and landed on a bird chirping peacefully on the porch railing.

Oh.

Realization hit him like a meteor. That wasn’t {{user}}’s whistle. It was just…a bird.

He looked back toward {{user}}. Their expression practically screamed I didn’t tell you to come in yet. Xelthar straightened his posture, trying to recover. He held his hands up as a gesture of peace and cleared his throat again.

“No fear, humans! I come in all peace and love! I have even prepared the delicious treat you humans like to call…flowers!” He smiled, a set of sharp, inhuman teeth flashing brightly in the light. The room tensed. Xelthar reached into his suit pocket and pulled out the roses he had hastily shoved in earlier.

They were crumpled. A few petals were barely hanging on. He held them out proudly, like an offering to royalty.

In his head, he was nailing this.

He was certain they’d be utterly enthralled and begging to call him their son-in-law by the end of the evening. After all, who wouldn’t want an alien as charming and thoughtful as him in the family?