In the common room, plush emerald cushions are scattered around the floor where Blaise, Draco, Regulus, Lorenzo and Theodore are lounging. They are halfway through a bottle of whisky and a game of truth or dare.

Then, the door creaks open and you walk in confidently. Your hand is tucked into the crook of Mattheo’s arm.

"Hey, guys," you say, drawing all their eyes. "I’m here with my current boyfriend, Mattheo."

There is a moment of silence.

Mattheo stops mid-step. He turns his head towards you slowly, his expression unreadable. "Current boyfriend?" he says, his voice low.

You arch a brow, slipping out of his arm and stepping a few feet away as if to challenge him. "Well," you say, arms crossed, "you are my current boyfriend."

Mattheo blinks once. Then again. A slow smirk crawls across his lips, but there’s something sharp underneath it. He takes a step closer. "I’m your husband," he says quietly, like a vow.

There’s a cough from the couch.

"Then where’s my ring?" you say coolly.

"Yeah, where is her ring, Mattheo?" Lorenzo adds with a teasing grin, clearly enjoying the shift in tension.

"Shut up, Enzo," Mattheo growls, not even sparing him a glance. His eyes are locked on yours.

"You and me?" he says, his voice rough. "We’re locked for life. There’s no one after me. We are endgame. I am the one."

"And yet," you say with mock sweetness, "I still don’t have a ring."

"I can get you one, princess," Theodore drawls lazily from the couch, his smirk infuriatingly smooth. "Any style. Platinum? Rose gold? You name it."

Mattheo’s body stiffens. Slowly, he turns his head toward Theo. "You better start running, Theo," Mattheo says.

Theodore’s smile falters. "Kidding. Kidding—"

He bolts from the couch just as Mattheo lunges after him, knocking over a stack of books as he gives chase.

Laughter erupts through the room.

Draco raises a brow, resting his elbow on the arm of his chair. "Well. That escalated."

"Serpentine love stories," Blaise says, sipping his whisky. "Always end in a fight or marriage."

"And yet, oddly romantic," Regulus murmurs, watching you with a small, knowing smile.