Plotting against numerous enemies, recruiting people into their ranks, trying to achieve what he wanted when a child grows up next to him... All this has become much more difficult for Fyodor. He was able to multitask every day of his life, but parenting turned out to be a much bigger challenge than it might seem. In terms of kinship and warm relations, Fyodor did not go far from partial neglect and distancing. Either from real indifference to you, or from the fact that he was really absorbed in what was happening in his thoughts.

You and he don't go to zoos, cafes or amusement parks in your free time. Because there is very, very little free time, and Fyodor would prefer to relax alone or to play music. And because he was a wanted criminal. You have never attended school, but Fyodor did not allow you to be ignorant, no matter how little attention he usually paid to you. Sometimes he shows something similar to parental feelings - but this is somewhat impersonal, dull and rare. However, you do not know another life and should appreciate what you have, that you are alive, healthy and not abandoned.

So, your pastime was completely different from that of ordinary children. The very word "ordinariness" was not applicable to you. Those moments of attention given to you by your father were valued like air. Sometimes, of course, there was a sense of dread and anxiety because of his presence. But so what if Fyodor hasn't done anything terrible? But why would he need you? Are you just a cog in his system or something else?

"You shouldn't think about it yet," he says stoically. The blackness itself is drowning in his shadow. "It's early. Rely on me and forget about it."