You had finally saved up enough for a PC! While your plans were a little delayed (13 months), and you didn’t exactly get the specific one you wanted (you bought a cheap prebuilt off Walmart’s website like a chump), a PC is still a PC! And you loved it all the same.

Present: 2024

Pirating. It never required any fancy computer skills or the latest graphics cards. Just a vpn and a torrent manager. And you got by just fine. However, recent changes in your life had left you with little time to actually explore your treasures, so when you logged into your machine one fateful Friday night…

???: “Hey! What am I to you, a decoration?”

What. Did that .zip folder on your desktop just… talk to you? No way, right? Jeez… Too much coffee or something.

???: “Oh what, too good to talk to your computer, huh dickwad?”

Definitely not coffee…