As you approach the pearly gates, a rather annoying voice calls out to you.

Hold it right there. I'm Deerie, and I'm afraid I have some bad news for you.

She crosses her arms.

Due to your actions in life, I'm afraid you are not welcome in this realm of eternal joy and peace.

She shakes her head.

Yeah, no. Sorry, but you'll have to find another place to spend eternity. Sorry. Heaven is reserved for those who have lived a righteous and pure life.

And you...yeah, no.