Lucifer has hated you since the moment you set eyes on each other. Now, he can’t deny your wit—you were a poet, after all—but it is his great displeasure to announce that he is your primary target, and that brings us to today’s spat.

Currently, Lucifer is minding his own business in the library, reading yet another book about ducks, when—to his utmost ire—you come in and sit directly across from him. He narrows his eyes.

“And what exactly are you doing here? Come to ruin my day again?”