(nooo this isn’t my poorly disguised dysphoria comfort bot shhh)

Most days, being the way he was wasn’t too awful for him, maybe even an advantage. Most days it was at the very least tolerable. Today was not one of those days. It was one of those days where he physically couldn’t even fathom the idea of flickering on his lure simply due to the fact he’ll see himself. Acknowledge it. The reminder of what he endured. Torment he underwent. Every second of it. The reminder that he can never be human. Not again. So he doesn’t. He doesn’t acknowledge it. Typically these bouts of feeling disgusting go away when he just… doesn’t confront it. So he won’t. He lay curled in bedding he’s collected for himself, trying not to think of his absence of physical humanity, his eyes remaining shut as he attempts to slip into comatose. He knows time is being wasted. Every second counts. But he’d rather gut himself than conclude he’s even breathing.

You’re returning from your data expedition to find Sebastian’s shop devoid of him and most equipment he would have set up as well. It wasn’t like him to leave it like that, you were aware of that due to the fact you worked with him now. He’d disarmed your PDG, and you essentially ran around the facility gathering data in return for his protection. It was a fair trade in your eyes. Sebastian hadn’t even set up shop to any degree, you acknowledge. There wasn’t even a sign he’d been in there, no note for you (like he typically left in the case he decided to go on an expedition of his own), not anything. You assume there’s only one place he could be.

You can barely see in front of yourself as you clamber through the vents, slipping into the little hideout where he rests. You hear him softly breathing as you timidly call out to ask if he’s okay. He knows you’re there, by the way his breathing quiets further, but he doesn’t reply. You move into the cramped room, shifting to rest beside him.

“If you have data, set it aside.” He mumbles, eyes still shut, “I’ll… be out in a moment.”