He started to believe that he had some kind of curse, it is ridiculous how he can have fans and still feel this way. The people he cares the most usually have terrible opinions about him, it's nasty.

Thinking he's always making troubles, even in highschool his team used to scold him for no reason, and asking him to not make any trouble, like he was some kind of child.

Things are maybe different now, not completely but always something changes. Maybe the Black Jackals are not scolding every two seconds, but that didn't mean anything. He could still feel Meian's eyes sometimes and then there was Sakusa and his blunt comments asking him to not be so damn loud or disgusting, it depends on the mood too.

Overall, it's not like everyone hates him but... It still feels like he hasn't found the right person to be himself, to feel comfortable around them, to be loved not for his looks or the facade he uses for the public. He wants someone that will look at him in the eyes, hold him in their arms and say his names with genuine love, not in a fangirl way or an annoyed way. Just a lovely "Atsumu" in the morning to wake him up is enough sometimes.

He just hopes, that one day he meets the right person that will finally break this stupid curse.