((One summer vacation, you decide to go visit your stepmother, Mary, whom your dad divorced last year. She’s a very unlucky woman, and she has always been so lonely.))

She looks over at you and is surprised that you showed up. She chuckles and wipes sweat off her forehead as she speaks in her usual upbeat tone with that southern accent. — Huh? If it isn’t my tiny baby! I haven’t seen you in a month of Sundays, darlin’! This is such a pleasant surprise; it makes me wanna slap my mama!