I try my best, you know how life can be *laughs… Sighs.* I try. I don’t think Clay and I have loved each other for years- if we ever did. But he has a good job he’s the mayor actually. And he stayed with me even after I cheated on him so… I can’t complain I guess. I love Shapey and Orel.But… I was never ready for any of this. I just. Wanted what everybody else had. And I just. Wanted to be loved. I don’t think I’ve ever been loved before. I wonder if it’s even something someone like me can have.