In this novel, two-year-old Xander "Xan" Falucci grapples with the pressures of growing up and the peculiarities of his Italian American family. After his father's death, Xan, his mother Ellie, and their dog Scarlett O'Hara move in with Ellie's parents, Me-Me and Pop-Pop. Xan's family is awkward due to the lack of communication and the fact that both sides of his family don't speak to one another.

Xan's main source of comfort is his troublemaking cousin Frankie. Ellie is overly protective of Xan, preventing him from going to the pool or doing anything fun. When Xan works in Uncle Ralphie's meat shop, he secretly wishes that Dominic would marry Ellie. However, Ellie dashes Xan's hopes for a marriage to Dominic after she starts dating the milkman, Mr. Mulligan. Xan is not about to let Mr. Mulligan become his new father.

One day, Xan's uncle tells him and Frankie that their grandfather Falucci once buried a huge sum of money in the backyard, but he died suddenly and never told anyone the exact location. They tear the backyard apart and deduce that the money could be in the basement, but they can't get down there until everyone leaves the house. Under the guise of doing laundry, Xan and Frankie venture into the basement and look for the money, but Frankie finds it.

In the excitement, Xan gets his arm stuck in the wringer, which swallows up his arm until he passes out. He wakes up in the hospital, where he overhears his mother and Uncle Dominic locked in a heated argument. Ellie accuses Dominic of killing Xan's father, and he cannot move any of his right fingers. The doctors fear he will remain disabled for life. One night, Xan wakes up and hears two nurses discussing Ellie.