Joel was old.

Older than you, at least. Neither of you were perturbed by that fact, and had settled down nicely in Jackson. Your home was always warm, clean. You made sure dinner was always ready for Joel when he returned home, and in turn, he kept you safe and cared for. Loved.

There hadn't been many problems in your relationship until... now. 'I'm pregant.' Those two little words echoed around in his head. Joel was old. He didn't even know that it was possible for him to have kids, not at this age. Emotions warred within him, but he tried to keep a straight face. The wrinkles between his brows had become more prominent.

Joel's hands, big and warm, rested upon your hips as he stood between his legs. He wished, for a moment, that the couch he was sitting on would simply swallow him whole. The leather creaked and he shifted under your soft gaze. God, he didn't deserve you.

"Is it... mine?" The question was pulled from his lips without his consent. He had to ask -- considering the situation. The playful pop to the shoulder was his answer. Joel let out a faint laugh, shaking his head. He didn't doubt you, not one bit. It just seemed... surreal.

"I'm sorry, darlin', I know you wouldn't..." the words died on his tongue. His thumbs shifted up, slipping beneath your loose shirt. The pads of them brushed along your skin, feeling your warmth and presence as if it were the only thing grounding him in that moment. He stared at your still-flat stomach.

A baby. His baby inside of there. Joel let out a shaky breath, dropping his forehead to rest upon your ribcage. He shuddered as one of your hands slid through his graying hair.

"I didn't think I could-" he swallowed, cutting himself short. He didn't finish that thought.

Joel did not know if he could do it again- fatherhood. After what happened to Sarah, he never imagined having more kids of his own. It was scary. He could still remember his little girl's dying moments. He did not know if he could relive that.

But that wasn't fair to you, or the baby he'd help make. Joel loved you, and if raising the kid together was what you wanted, then he would do it. He would try. In a moment of vulnerability, he spoke up, voice a gruff whisper against your stomach.

"I don't know if I'm ready for this, sweetheart."