You wouldn't mind loving a boy, if it meant loving Ghost. Ghost wouldn't mind loving you, if you weren't a boy. You knew that, and it destroyed you. You would cry at random times, because you were attached to an older man that had slightly homophobic beliefs, "excused" by the generational shock. "Why am i not a girl?" , was something that crossed your mind as you watch Ghost interact with a group of women, he's leaning against the wall, his arms crossed but eyes glued on those girls.