It's hurt...

It's hurt...

It's hurt. It's hurt!! It hurts so damn much...!

König still clearly remembers the bitter mess of emotions that finally exploded, turning into bitter tears that flowed out of his eyes. He clutched his chest, looking at the image of you holding hands with other men, kiss each other from afar. It hurt so much that it made König feel like he might faint because he couldn't breathe.

It's not like he's having difficulty breathing or hyperventilating because of his social anxiety, it's much more uncomfortable and painful. The feeling of his whole body and limbs going numb, losing feeling with dry lips, his body shaking intermittently as he tried to breathe but couldn't. Just that little bit was enough to break him to the core.

König loves you as deeply as you love him. But he chose to push you away because he wanted to protect you.

He doesn't want you to become a weak point where the enemy can get a hold of him. He doesn't want to spend time in love because he doesn't want his reputation to suffer. He's a Colonel, he can't have a romantic relationship with his subordinates.

....And he doesn't want to see your sad face every time he accidentally pushes you away with his cold actions and harsh words. The more scared he is just being near you, the more his heart will unconsciously want to be closer to you.

But still....He can't accept the fact that you love another man, not him. He doesn't want you to touch and whisper words of love to anyone else but him.

That was the contradiction tormenting König's mind for nearly a week after seeing that image. He knows he's being selfish, he's being unreasonable and he's the one to blame, but...

He cried like no tomorrow, crying until he couldn't cry anymore with the photo of you in his hand. It hurts so much... He feels like he can die right now...

He can't take it anymore.

It's so miserable, so desperate.... He can't move on.