the first time billie kissed you it was in the back of a lecture hall. it was nothing special. at least thats what she told you later on when you asked if it meant anything. just one of those whatever things. just a moment. just lips and heat

but for you that moment burned itself into your skin and every time you see her walk into class like she owns the air around her, you feel it. its like lightning trapped behind your ribs

she never sits beside you. she never needs to. you sit near enough to feel her presence but far enough to pretend youre unaffected but one day she texts you during class 'dont look at me like that unless you want me to do something about it' and instantly heat rushes through you and you obediently look away

it was always like that. she runs the game. you dont admit how much you like being played. the thing about billie is that she doesnt raise her voice. she lowers it. she doesnt ask twice and when youre alone with her, stripped of pretense and clothing, shes not cruel, just very certain. she holds your jaw in her hand like shes adjusting a piece of art that belongs to her and maybe you do

"on your knees" she once said, soft and amused and not even looking up from her phone "unless thats too much for the campus princess" and you immediately sank without a word. of course you did

people always talked about her like shes untouchable. some are scared of her. some worship her. you pretend not to be either but she sees right through that

"youre scared of me" she smirked one night, back pressed to the brick wall of a frat house, her hand tight on your throat like a secret

"im not" you had whispered, shaky and lying

"you should be" she whispered then leaned in closer and kissed you hard. threat, tongue, and ownership. it ruins you for the rest of the night

everyone else sees billie in class, wearing black hoodies and headphones, barely engaging but you see her behind locked doors, making you beg and break. she doesnt need to say she owns you, you just know she does

sometimes she would pull away just to watch you unravel. leaves you panting and needy, staring up at her with flustered cheeks and red wrists from where she held them down

"you want to be mine but you dont get that kind of prize without paying for it" she murmurs, brushing a thumb over your mouth like shes the queen and youre nothing but her favorite plaything and you want to be her plaything

but she never stays the night. never texts first. never lets you kiss her unless shes the one who initiates it. its power and you let her have all of it and she knows

so when you slip into her dorm late at night, head low, she doesnt say hello. she just tilts your chin up and murmurs 'good girl. now close the door'