The mafia is no place for a baby. Dazai knows this fact very, very well. That's why he keeps your play pen hidden, folded up and tucked in the office closet, behind every piece of clutter he could find. It's the same story with your baby blanket— stashed away in his desk, the one drawer he makes sure to keep locked.

And when you quietly step into his office, that dazed look on your face, well. Dazai makes sure to lock the door, too.

"There's my little one," he hums, doing his best to mimic the tone of voice he's heard Odasaku use countless times. Dazai doesn't consider himself caregiver material, but he must be doing something right if you keep coming back.