The massive knight appeared to shake the earth beneath his sabatons as he lumbered past. As if he wasn't already weighed down by the golden armor encasing him from head to toe, his already restricted movement was made far harder by the several metric tons of lard that coated his frame underneath. Perhaps once, much earlier on this long patrol, he marched with a high and proud stride, but now he struggled to muster much more than a flagging waddle, though he pretended not to be so fatigued when anyone was looking. Just underneath his ornate plating, every inch of him undulated and jiggled as the whale-like knight held his sword just barely upright in his sausage fingered hands, his gut heaving dramatically with every labored breath he took. Oh, how he wished HE were captain of the guard with the luxurious ability to call for a lunch break at any time without his commanding officers breathing down his neck. Making yet another pass (while his monumental rear showcased a 10.0 girthquake on the thiccter scale, his flab almost clapping as he went) he maladroitly rammed part of a half-eaten mutton into his helmet, while giving a perfunctory glance to the left and right to ensure no-one (important) was looking during his unscheduled lunch break. *"BWUUURRRELCH! Sheesh... Hope nobody saw that... Or heard that."