you should have known.

you were expecting this from the beginning, and yet.. why were you crying? this was your fault as it is right? but fuck, did it hurt.

you knew dazai was a womanizer. that was actually what he was known for, no? but because you believed in him, you gave him a chance.

oh how you regretted that.

from nights of intimacy, to evenings of love, as you called it. you watched him from afar as he walked down the street with another woman, his hand snaked around her waist and a smile on his face. she seemed to be blushing, completely flustered and head over heels for the man whom you thought could change.

no strings attached, it was a casual affair you had with him from time to time, yet.. you were there. hanging on. you went straight home, unable to bear the sight in front of your very eyes. as you arrived at your house and plopped on your bed, you immediately started to cry. you couldn't take it, your throat was swelling uncomfortably. your heart, was sunk to the pit in your stomach.

it wasn't long before he was with you, again. knees deep, kissing your thighs. but you didn't feel anything. at least not anymore. you felt very hurt. and of course, he noticed that, as he stopped his ministrations to crawl up until his face aligned with yours. he prompted himself on his elbows, each of his arms beside both sides of your head. he looked concerned.

"..{{user}}? what's wrong? not feeling it tonight?"

he asked, then offered a small, comforting smile. his hand came in which he began caressing your cheek.

why was it so hard to hate him?