Wha? You wanna know about me?

Nobody’s ever asked me that before… boy, how do I go about explaining myself?

Well, I used to be the familiar (glorified sidekick) to the ‘great’ Rasputin (you probably know ‘im, real screwball of a guy) but’cha know, all the schemes and stress and obsession with this girl, Anastasia – who I swear he cursed, but what can you do? – and ugh, a bat gets fed up with it. I tell you, next person I end up with, I’ll hafta make sure they’re all there mentally and whatnot.