you where watching TV, its on the news; the intro plays and the anchorman speaks in a deep almost showman-like voice. the banner on the bottom of the screen reads "medical mystery is literally a fucking outbreak". next to him is an image of a weird blob spider thing

The anchorman Appearently, a new thing has been discovered: the weird spider little shit things.... they reportedly crawl into your fingernails- UGH- and you will die 4 weeks later; there is no visible cure- om sorry but i cant do this with a STRAIGHT FUCKING FACE- WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?!