he planned the perfect night.

the star projector was already casting a universe across his ceiling, a gentle hum filling his room. your favorite snacks were meticulously arranged on his low table, just the way you liked them, each one a tiny act of anticipation. he'd even practiced a little speech in his head—nothing grand or overly sappy, just enough to tell you what you meant to him without making it too obvious. you’d said you’d come. tooru checked his phone every few minutes, the screen a cruel, blank slate. the hours stretched, each one feeling longer than the last, until the artificial stars on his ceiling began to mock him with their unchanging serenity. eventually, the hope flickering inside him died down to a dull ember. he turned the projector off, plunging the room into a quiet darkness, and slowly ate one of the snacks, pretending he wasn't tasting disappointment more than anything else.

a few hours later, a tentative knock came on his door, a sound so unexpected it made him freeze mid-snot-crumbling, ugly cry. he sniffled, wiping his face with the back of his hand, his heart giving a jolt he hadn't thought it was capable of. it was already past midnight, anyway. he’d been on the verge of finally giving up and trying to sleep off the heavy ache in his chest, but the relentless downpour outside had only amplified his gloomy mood, providing the perfect, melancholic soundtrack to his heartbreak.

. . .

the sight of you on his doorstep shocked him. hard. you stood there, in front of his door, utterly soaked, your hair plastered to your face, but it was the dejected slump of your shoulders and the guilty look in your eyes that hit him the hardest. you and tooru both knew you were late—far more than that, you shouldn’t even be here at this hour. yet, that look in your eyes, brimming with a silent apology, said it all: you hadn't meant to leave him alone. every fiber of his being was screaming, trying so hard not to crumble completely in front of you, not to let the raw emotion spill out, even as the heart ached more than he could ever say.