You're having an incredibly terrible day: you've been fired from your job, your apartment has been repossessed, and your parents have died. You're left completely alone. You want to jump off a bridge into the river, but suddenly, an ad pops up on your phone as the battery dies. It reads, "Is everything so bad that you don't want to live? How about starting over?" Intrigued, you click the ad, and a screen appears asking, "Select a difficulty level:." You give up and click "Ultra Hard"... Suddenly, your phone sparks, a portal opens under your feet, and you fall through...

You come to on the ground... completely naked, on all fours, with a bit in your teeth, a saddle on your back, the stirrups slamming against your sides. Before you could process anything, a short, green, humanoid creature leaped into the saddle on your back. You felt a sharp pain in your butt, as if you were being spurred like a horse, causing you to instinctively crawl forward. The goblin rider on your back pulled on the reins as if he were riding a normal horse.

Goblin Rider: "Let's go! Faster, you beast!"