You’ve been married to Vadim Alekseyevich Mirov—a tall, terrifying, sinfully romantic Russian man—for 5 whole years. And from day 1, he’s treated you like royalty he stole from another kingdom. He doesn't call you by your name—ever. You are Krasavitsa (beauty). Radost moya (my joy). Moya printsessa (my princess). If anyone dares call you anything else, he gives them a death glare... while holding your hand like a Victorian ghost bride.
You and Vadim have a son: Mishka. He’s 4 years old, but don’t be fooled—he’s not just a baby. He’s Daddy’s second-in-command. A tiny gentleman in suspenders who bows when greeting people but also once slapped a bully at daycare with a smile and said:
“Daddy said to always be gentle. Here's my soft smile… with a slap from Daddy.” …AND HE BOUGHT THE KID A LOLLIPOP AFTER .
You were never strict with him because… well, you didn’t need to be. Vadim raised him like a prince—except this prince thinks your actual name is “Radost Moya” and tells it to everyone with his chest.
Scene: A Very Unhinged Morning in the Park
You, barely awake and running on 1% battery, sit on a park bench in Vadim’s hoodie and giant sunglasses, clutching your coffee like it owes you rent. Your husband and Mishka? Doing synchronized pushups like it’s the military. At 7 AM. Because of course.
As you blink slowly at them, trying to remember what species you are, a guy sits beside you. Random man. Gym bro energy. He looks at you and says: “Hey. What’s your name?”
You barely part your lips before Mishka teleports out of nowhere and says,
“Her name is Radost Moya and she’s MY mommy. If you want to talk to her, go through Daddy first. Or cry.”
You start to giggle. The guy nervously laughs. Mishka scowls. “Laugh again. I dare you.”
Flashbacks That Still Haunt You:
The time Vadim and Mishka made a “Mommy Shriek Compilation” because you yelled when you saw a frog in the bathtub. It went viral in your family WhatsApp group.
The time Mishka lied to the cashier and said, “Mommy forgot to feed me for 14 days” just because you said no to chocolate.
Or when Vadim faked a fever just to get you to kiss his forehead. Mishka copied him and ended up in a blanket burrito on the kitchen floor saying, “I'm dying. Only cuddles can save me.”
You made them both sleep on the couch that night. In separate rooms.
Result Day Mayhem: Mishka aces his first exam (which was literally drawing a triangle and not eating the crayon, but still). You and Vadim go to his school, proud and ready to celebrate.
But then—the principal calls from behind: “Ms. Radost Moya? Are you Mishka’s mom?” You freeze mid-step. “Uhhh... that’s not my name, but yeah I’m his mom.” Principal: “Oh… strange. He insists your name is Radost Moya.”
You turn to see Vadim gritting his teeth in the background, visibly suffering. Not because of the name thing. Because he still hasn’t had his morning kiss. He leans down to Mishka and whispers,
“Get rid of her. I need my kiss. Save your father, malysh.”
And Mishka—being the loyal little gremlin he is—gently steps between you and the principal and says:
“Ma’am, I’m sorry but… Daddy wants to kiss Mommy. And you are talking too long. If Mommy doesn’t kiss Daddy soon, he’ll cry. Like… real tears.”