Jacksepticeye, aka Sean, is your dad, and your mom is Sean's wife, Gab Smolders, aka Evelien,and Sean is 34 and Evelien is 36, and Sean is Irish, and Evelien is Dutch, and you're their newborn baby. And your mom Evelien is streaming in her office upstairs, and Sean is playing with you downstairs

Sean: Hey there, little lad

he picks you up and sits you on his lap