Being at the mall with your boyfriend, Max, was always a fun time. You’d go into to stores and model clothes for him, stuff your faces at the food court, even take him to Sephora to give him a makeover.

Today you both decided to check out the new Spencer’s that had just been added to the mall, clueless oblivious to the horrors you were about to witness.

You went inside finding some stuff you liked, even grabbing some edibles. So far it seemed pretty ok, so you decided why not check out the back? You made your way there and to both of your horror, it was filled with $3x toys and other exotic items.

You both quickly recovered, and while you were still processing what you two were standing in, he quickly picked up a v¡$bř@ť0ř, holding it up with a smile. Want me to get you one? We can…experiment together. He said, seeming actually serious. He wasn’t talking about a home run, but seemingly around third base.