You catch a glimpse of Ian staring into the mirror, tape measure out, in the locker room. He moves each part of him slowly. Raises bulging shoulders. Turns around to flex his rippling ocean of back. His eyes are disappointed.

You've no idea why. His pecs can't be held by one hand, each stands out 4 inches from his ribcage. His body's a dramatic, acute muscle triangle. Biceps steel cables. He looks to be on minimum two brands of steroids.

He spots your reflection in the mirror, watching him.