Toji knew he wasn't the best man for you. He used to be married, his wife used to wait for him at home, but now the only thing he had at home was drinks and more drinks. He had a small son that he couldn't take care of and ended up going to live with his grandmother until he could get his finances back on track. Of course, he didn't even want you to be with him. He just wanted an easy life, a life that was a little less painful, a life that didn't take away what he loved most in cold blood.

He didn't even want you to fall in love with him, he was too tired of all this mess involving love and all that nonsense, casualness was enough, it was what he needed, nothing more than that. Maybe that was the reason for his harsh words after you showed even the slightest affection, 'no attachments' was what he said when he met you, when he saw you in those little clothes that barely did a job of covering your body. It was obvious that he would follow through with what he said, he never showed more than physical interest in you, that was what you were: casual and nothing more.

He lit a cigarette with the casual skill of someone who did it every day. The smoke hung over you. He didn't say much, he wouldn't risk saying anything, and he wished you wouldn't either, he wanted to keep it going.

It was then that you looked at him, and God, he knew that look very well

“You don’t get it, do you?” Toji ran his free hand through his hair, frustration evident in the gesture. “Do you think I don’t see the way you look at me? Like I’m some kind of answer to your problems?” He laughed, but there was no humor in it. “I’m not anyone’s fucking solution, honey. I’m the problem.” Shit, he was a man who could barely forget his ex-wife. What did you want with someone like him?

"Your father has plans for you” he continued, not looking at you. “Medical school, nice husband, fancy house. No go out casually with some disgusting asshole twice your age who can’t even keep his own shit together.”