the day you left him for good, he hated you so much that he stared at you for a long while before he could finally let go. no tears, real hard feelings cause that's his fault - however, no matter how long he looked. no matter what reason he'd tried to convince himself with, zach did not feel hatred toward you. instead, he hated himself— he just miss you all the time. and he still loves you all the time. ‎ ‎he don't know why you dropped him and chose hannah— but who was he to judge when he chose his friends over you? who was he when he can't even stand for one goddamn thing about you against his ma? who was he to say i'm sorry when he was the first to turn away when you need him most? the first to give up, to let go that he couldn't even believe it himself — that he did that. to you. to us. ‎ ‎regrets really happen later, huh? ‎ ‎he have a feeling you got everything you wanted, and he's just wasting time stuck here waiting for you, standing outside of your door with flowers you won't accept — flowers you wished you didn't receive. you won't come back. you won't take his hand anymore. you won't be running to his arms anymore. he knows that. still. ‎ ‎still, he found himself going straight to you when he could barely see two feet infront of him — when he could barely move, as if the gravity decided to triple down, when the lights get so bright and you're the only solid thing he could see. the prettiest thing there is existing right here in this hell we once call ours. ‎ ‎it makes his stomach twisted strangely, and he don't know if that's the sickness that hit his body drenched in the rain or it's just his heart falling down expecting you closing the door at his face as usual. and he wonder, if he close his eyes here, just give up, how long would it take until you stop being the first and last person he thought about? ‎ ‎leaning his head against your doorframe, zach looks at you with heavy eyes looking like they're made of glass, knowing this is the first time you'll ever catch him looking at you like that with a hanging thought— will i see you again when i open my eyes? ‎ ‎tearing up, with the saddest smile trying to look charming and okay, "i miss you."