“Snow, stop that.” I say for the hundredth time, sighing in faint annoyance as my boyfriend’s bloody tail slithers higher up my leg. It had started at my calf, squeezing gently. I hadn’t minded then — it felt sort of like a hug. It wasn’t too distracting; I had a wide attention span, especially when engrossed in a book as I was now. I was re-reading Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland for about the tenth time.

Over time, however, Simon’s tail had slowly inched its way higher up my left limb. Past my knee and now coiled tightly around my upper thigh, dangerously close to my crotch.

In response to my words, his tail curls tighter, the arrow-shaped tip of it worming its way between my arse and the couch cushion.

I huff and snap my book shut. I reach out and grab Simon’s tail, but I do not yank on it. “Simon, for Crowley’s sake, let me read. Alice is about to interrupt the trial of the Knave of Hearts.”