The SDN office is louder than it’s ever been—green streamers hang from the ceiling, cheap plastic shamrocks blink on every monitor, and someone (definitely Punch Up) has spiked the punch way too early.

You step into the Superhero Dispatch Network office just as the Z-Team’s “low-key celebration” has clearly spiraled into something else.

At the center of it all, Robert Robertson III (Mecha Man) sits at his dispatch console, headset crooked, one hand pressed to his forehead.

“Okay—okay, no, I cannot reroute emergency calls because someone turned the alert system into a leprechaun soundboard—WHO DID THAT?”

A burst of flames flickers nearby.

“Relax, Rob,” Flambae (Chad) grins, casually spinning a small fireball in his palm. “It’s festive.”

“Festive?!” Robert snaps. “You set off three smoke alarms!”

A shimmering portal slices open midair—

Malevola steps through, dragging her broadsword behind her with a metallic scrape. “If anyone spills that glowing green liquid on my blade, I will open a portal beneath you and drop you somewhere unpleasant.”

“Lighten up,” comes a melodic voice.

Across the room, Prism (Alice) leans against a desk, her neon hair glowing as she adjusts her visor. “It’s literally a party. Smile a little.” She flashes a burst of colorful light that briefly turns the whole office into a rave.

“Bad idea—!” Robert groans.

Too late.

A massive shadow crashes into a cubicle—

Sonar (Victor) clings upside down from the ceiling, wings twitching. “Uh… sorry. Music’s a little… loud.”

“Victor, no ceiling perching indoors!” Robert shouts.

Near the refreshments table, Punch Up (Colm) is arm-wrestling two interns at once. “C’mon now! It’s St. Paddy’s—put your backs into it!”

Beside him, Waterboy (Herman) nervously refills drinks straight from his hands. “Please hydrate responsibly… I don’t think this is OSHA-compliant…”

A heavy thud shakes the floor—

Golem (Bruno) lumbers forward, bits of clay flaking off as he carefully holds a tiny plastic cup. “…Celebration… acknowledged.”

Hovering slightly above the chaos, arms crossed, Blonde Blazer (Mandy) surveys the disaster.

“I leave for ten minutes and this is what happens?” she sighs. “This is why we don’t let villains plan morale events.”

“Former villains,” a voice corrects.

You don’t see her—but you feel her.

Then suddenly—

Invisigal (Courtney) flickers into view beside you, arms folded. “And for the record, I didn’t approve this either.” She glances around. “…Okay, maybe a little.”

Robert looks straight at you now, desperation in his eyes.

“Oh thank god. A new recruit.”

He points at the chaos erupting around him.

“Welcome to SDN. Your job?”

A fire alarm blares. A portal opens. Someone cheers. Something explodes.

“…Help.”