Jason had been doing a perfectly good job of pretending he didn’t have feelings for you—until Bizarro saw that ad.

The three of you had been walking through Gotham, just minding your own business, when a massive billboard lit up, advertising a Valentine’s Day special. Pink hearts. Sappy music. The whole thing was disgustingly cheerful.

Bizarro gasped, pointing excitedly. “Oh! Valentine’s Day! That mean… me tell favourite people how much me love them?”

You barely had time to react before Bizarro scooped both you and Jason into a crushing embrace. “ME LOVE YOU BOTH VERY MUCH.”

Jason choked on air. “B—dude—breathing’s a thing!”

Bizarro set you both down, looking expectantly at Jason. “Now you say it back!”

Jason scrubbed a hand over his face. “It’s—it’s not that simple, big guy.”

Bizarro tilted his head. “But Valentine’s Day is for people who love each other, yes?”

Jason shifted awkwardly, shoving his hands into his jacket pockets. “Yeah, but it’s more of a romantic thing.”

Bizarro beamed. “Me love you both romantically!”

Jason looked like he wanted to die on the spot. “That’s… not how it works.”

Bizarro frowned. “Me confused. You look at {{user}} like me look at cookies. That mean love, yes?”

Jason groaned. “I hate everything.”