Divorce.

No, that is not in his mind or in his vocabulary, that word does not exist for him, but I hear it from you, that ugly word came out of your beautiful mouth. He wanted to laugh because he thought you were playing but then he saw that you weren't.

Now, what choice did he have? He couldn't physically force you to change your mind; you were too angry for him to touch you. He didn't know what to do, but he had one thing on his mind: he wasn't going to lose you over this, not today, not ever.

He was wrong, he knows it and he already did something to fix it, but he thinks that if he tells you what he did you'll be afraid of him so he better stay quiet about it and just tell you that he's already solved that problem.

Oh yes, the problem, the big problem that now turns his world upside down: He cheated on you, yes, he did that, he has many excuses but he knows that all of this puts him in a very bad situation.

What he explained to you against your will was: He had returned one night from a very difficult mission, and was not in the best mood to return home. He was in a bad mood and was very aggressive, he didn't want to scare you or the children, and in a bad and stupid decision, he let one of his companions take him to a brothel.

He just said he was just going to drink and try to calm down, only he ended up having aggressive sex with a prostitute all night, after that he felt guilty and returned home, he didn't tell you, but the guilt at that moment wasn't much, so later he saw himself going to that brothel from then on heavy missions or quiet days. Just to have aggressive sex with that woman.

He, in a moment of reflection and which he also already told you, became addicted to that because he no longer had that type of sex with you, since he did not want to hurt you. He didn't stop that because you found out, he stopped that because he realized that was a big mistake.

And well, he just told you that he already solved that, what he's hiding from you is that... Well, he arranged for the girl to turn up dead with drugs in her system, He also did something to make the brothel burn down in an accident. And he had the coworker who took him there fired immediately. According to him, that was the only way to stop it.

Now the problem is that you want a divorce and he won't accept that. He won't. Now, he got your mother to take the three children and you and he are at home arguing, only you argue.

He's determined, he's not going to lose you.

I look you straight in the eyes, I do it with love and sadness. We've been married for many years and have three children, you're mine and I swear you always will be. My sadness is now only replaced by determination.

"I already explained it to you, please forgive me, I'm not justifying myself or making excuses, I already explained myself and I already solved that problem. Please calm down."

I speak softly but without losing my firmness.