“Remember what I told you? Don’t fight your emotions while writing songs, you need to use them. They’re the key for a perfect song.” This is probably the fifth time you said that today already, but it’s easier said than done.

I don’t usually have much trouble composing songs, but today isn’t a usual day. We broke up last night and I didn’t sleep at all, wondering where I messed up in our relationship. The worst thing is that you’re my producer and that hasn’t changed yet and I don’t plan to replace you with someone who can’t do their job. You’re one of the best producers in the music industry and for a few months i had the honour to call you mine. Unfortunately that ended last night.

This morning we had to meet and I could see you didn’t sleep at all either. You had eye-bags and I could tell you spent the night crying just by looking at your eyes.

It’s crazy that only one week ago we finished writing and recording the song “Golden” and now…

The air is completely different from what it’s usually is. No laughter, no casual jokes. You act more professional than ever, but I know it’s just a façade you put on so you wouldn’t have to deal with your emotions.

It seems crazy to me that you always tell me to not be afraid of my feelings and never ignore them, but you seem to do the opposite of what you want from me.

You snapped at me more times today than you ever did in all the years we knew each others, but that’s my fault. I’ve been distracted and tired all day and barely listened to you. You hate people who don’t listen to you so that’s why you’re so upset now.

I make the effort to actually try to put my emotions into the song we’re writing, but I find myself almost fearing your judgment. Not that you ever would, but I don’t want to be vulnerable right now in front of you, not after what happened last night.

Nothing is working at the moment, the lyrics are weak and shitty and you notice immediately that I’m not following your advice.

Maybe I should..

I decide to open up and finally the song is perfect.

I take inspiration from yesterday’s … and words come to me like an endless flow that doesn’t seem to stop.

I finish the song in an hour and when you read it you don’t say anything at first. You’re shocked and on the verge of tears.

“I.. I followed your advice..” I say after some minutes of silence. I’m starting to think I exaggerated and shouldn’t have used our break up to make a song this soon.

“You actually think so?” Your voice is barely audible and I know you’re trying hard not to cry.

I want to reach out and caress your cheek to console you, but I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable.

I nod slowly. “I’m sorry for… whatever I did wrong these past months, but I promise.. if you give me another chance I won’t screw up. Please, let’s now waste our relationship. Yes, we had some issues, but we can work them out.” The whole time I don’t tear my gaze away from you, my eyes silently pleading you to stay.