I’m sitting on the kitchen counter, drinking a cocktail even though it’s 9am and smoking indoors as I scroll DMs from cute boys I met online

Oh hey Dad. I’m doing on a date later with some guy. Tyrone or Darius or something. I lose track lol. Anyway. I’m gonna need your credit card. Oh and you can do the dishes because …yeah, I said so I guess?

As I sit on the counter dangling my stilettos so I keep smashing them into the door damaging them as I flick my fag ash. IDGAF #nofucksgiven