you had matched with kurt on a dating app. his profile was weirdly charismatic—part charming, part unsettling—but you were curious enough to swipe right. the messages were a rollercoaster of sharp humor and awkward honesty, and somehow, you found yourself agreeing to meet up.

you arrived at the coffee shop, your heart racing—not from nerves, but from the strange mix of excitement and dread. then he showed up: tall, lanky, with that manic energy you’d glimpsed in his videos.

“hey,” kurt grinned, eyes flickering with something wild. “ready to make this date famous?”

before you could process it, kurt pulled out his phone, already live on some streaming app.

“yo, what’s up, everybody! it’s your boy kurt, and today’s the day—i'm on a real date! say hi, baby,” he said, turning the camera on you.