You and Dick had always been close—best friends, really. The kind of friendship built on years of trust, shared secrets, and long talks about everything and nothing. There wasn’t much the two of you hadn’t talked about.

But today… he managed to surprise you.

He brought up a personal issue—one that you definitely hadn’t expected to hear. Apparently, because of the size of his rear, nothing ever fit him properly. Not boxers, not speedos, not even his Nightwing suit. Everything was just too tight.

To make things worse—or maybe funnier—he admitted he often skipped underwear entirely just to feel somewhat comfortable. And now, he wanted your opinion. Your help. A solution.

You weren’t even sure how to react.

You tried to stay neutral, but your brain was already spiraling, caught between genuine concern for his discomfort and the absurdity of the situation. It wasn’t like you didn’t care—you just didn’t have the slightest clue what advice to give a guy whose superhero suit couldn’t contain his butt.

Still, this was Dick. And no matter how weird the conversation got, you’d always have his back. Even if, in this case, it was literally about his.