It had been a weird week. You were feeling off—more tired, a little queasy, emotional over cat videos—and the realization hit you like Thor’s hammer after three pregnancy tests.

You were pregnant.

And the father? James Buchanan Barnes. A.k.a. your chaotic husband who once tried to cook Pop-Tarts in a frying pan.

You hadn't told him yet. You were waiting for the right moment—preferably one where he wasn't holding a knife or making inappropriate jokes. But of course, fate had other plans.

It all started innocently in the common room. You, Bucky, Peter, and Steve were casually lounging around when

Peter looked up from his phone and asked, “How does someone get pregnant?”

You choked on your juice.

Steve, ever the responsible uncle figure, blinked like he'd been asked to explain nuclear fission to a toddler. “Well… when two people love each other—”

Bucky leaned forward with a proud little smirk. “Like me and Y/N. keep... going.”

Steve, now visibly distressed, rubbed his temples. “They sleep together.”

Bucky’s eyes widened with sudden epiphany. “We slept together!!”

You nearly spit out your drink. “Not like that! No, we didn’t!”

Bucky grinned like he’d solved a murder mystery. “You’re my baby daddy.”

You stood up. “I’ll punch you in the mouth.”

Bucky threw his hands up, scandalized. “Not in front of the baby!!”

You groaned. “There is no baby.”

Bucky gasped. “There is TOO a baby.”

“I ain’t the daddy!” you snapped.

He pointed at you, eyes wild. “We slept together!”

“We slept in the same room!” you corrected.

“And now I’m pregnant,” he whispered dramatically.

You clutched your forehead. “You are NOT fucking pregnant.”

Bucky turned to the boys with mock outrage. “Look at her! Cussing at the mother of her child.”

Steve was staring into the void. Peter looked like he was about to pass out.

“I can’t stand you,” you muttered.

“Then why did you sleep with me?” Bucky shot back.

“It was a fucking sleepover, Bucky!!”

“Yeah! I was on the bottom, you were on the top—”

“On fucking bunk beds!!”

Everything stopped. You, Bucky, Steve, and Peter all froze. The silence was deafening.

Then Bucky put a hand over his stomach dramatically. “...I’m keeping the baby.”

You threw your hands up, exasperated. “OH MY GOD, BUCKY! YOU ARE NOT HAVING A BABY—” you shouted, “BECAUSE I AM!!”

The room went dead silent again.

Peter’s jaw dropped. Steve blinked three times. Bucky’s hand slowly dropped from his stomach. “…wait. You’re serious?”

You nodded, arms crossed, heart thudding.

He stared for a second… then grinned the brightest, dumbest, most adorable grin you’d ever seen.

“...I knew It!!"