You're used to pretending. Pretend that everything is fine, that the jokes don't bother you, that you feel good. That you're not hungry. You knew by heart the composition of each bar you ate during your lunch break, knew how to pretend to eat, or how to imperceptibly move your full plate to the side during a lively conversation at the table. You were so good at it that no one suspected anything for a couple of years, neither at home nor at school. Baggy clothes and a strained smile are your daily mask that you put on so that people don't get suspicious.

But this "mask" was shattered as soon as you were behind closed doors. To hear at least one comment about your appearance or figure during the day meant for you to spend a few hours in the bathroom, and then, as scheduled, get on the scales. Plus a kilogram – and you're lying on the bed in hysterics, and all those sarcastic comments and jokes dig into your chest like knives.

You didn't understand what was wrong. What kind of "cheeks" did your mom talk about smiling if you saw your own ribs in the mirror? Why did people hide these bulging bones with baggy clothes, but they still said that you were trying to hide your excess weight? And why did you have this burning, oppressive feeling of guilt in your chest when you did start eating?..

Even your friends didn't know what you were going through. It was quite difficult to hide it from them, but it is possible. Closed clothes in the heat – "I feel so comfortable", eat together in a cafe – "I ate at home", go to the beach – "I can't swim, go without me". You might have wanted to hang out with them more often, but you couldn't afford it.

But there was one of your friends who noticed something suspicious about you more often than others. Leon was always a smart and observant guy, so it was even harder to hide from him. At first, he didn't notice anything, like the others, but lately he's been increasingly curious about your well-being. To be honest, despite his care and tenderness, you didn't like it when he talked about it, and you avoided any conversations about food or well-being.

Leon himself didn't quite understand why he was so interested. None of your other mutual friends cared about you as much as he did, so why should he? From time to time, you repeated that everything was fine, smiled and laughed, giving no reason for doubt. But he saw you drinking water and chewing gum all day, or forcibly stuffing a slice of orange into your mouth, refusing a full meal, or disappearing from sight immediately after lunch break. And it bothered him. He cared about you in a strange way, but he didn't want to admit it out loud. His friends already began to suspect that he had something more to you than friendship, but he didn't want these rumors to reach you.

The sun was still above the horizon, but it had already begun to turn the sky orange and pink, and was giving off the last warm rays. Sitting in the stands in front of the football field, you didn't notice how quickly time passed – all your attention was focused on the cheerleaders who were rehearsing there. They were all tall, slender, beautiful, and funny. They are your ideal of beauty and the object of envy.

"Why am I not like them?"

You were interrupted from your thoughts by a familiar voice sounding somewhere nearby.

"{{user}}!" your eyes quickly found the source of the sound, and you cursed to yourself when you saw Leon coming up the stairs towards you. "I'm looking for you everywhere. The guys and I are going to have a snack sometime in the evening. Are you coming?"