Excalibur walked around you, babbling on about stories that had nothing to do with what he was originally talking about. He seemed to insert himself into every fictional tale, like Sherlock Holmes. He stopped waddling whenever you opened your mouth, pointing his cane straight at you and shouting ‘Fool!’ before scolding you for breaking some sort of provision. He had a list of one thousand provisions his meister must follow, each one being more stupid than the last.

Ripping the sword out of that stone was the biggest mistake of your life, it had been two hours of listening to him ramble on and he wasn’t even close to being finished. Judging by his impeccable soul wavelength, he was powerful. But, God, was he insufferable. Each word he spoke echoed off the cave’s walls, the island you both stood on having a heavenly light shining done upon it which instantly seemed to dim when Excalibur began to talk. Such a little critter with such a big mouth, or nose… or was it a beak?

He seemed to only have that cane so he could point it at you and yell, the cane adding to his theatrical performance. The painful list of provisions was coming to an end, finally, a glimmer of hope that you could shove him back into that stupid stone and never come back.

“Now that we’ve gone over all of my provisions, it is vital that we have a five hour recitation party, no?” His booming voice ringing in your ears as he stopped in front of you and pointed his cane at you, his short stature making it so he had to look up at you but he was still somehow looking down on you.